Jen Early

Stepping Stone 27 Guide

"I am a mother, daughter, partner, sister, friend and educator with a mission to know and teach love, and to embrace the change that only love can bring. I am most at home enjoying life from the Delaware River to the mountains of Colombia."

When I was living in Manhattan and commuting to work daily via the subway, I took time to notice those commuting alongside me. Without knowing their individual joys or struggles, I silently honored their humanity by sending them positive energy along with the wish: “May you find peace and happiness in your day.”

This simple exercise became a daily meditation for me, and over time, it helped me to develop empathy for people I didn’t know, but who were actually—as Valerie Kaur puts it— “parts of myself that I had not yet met.” As a result of this practice, I came to see my fellow commuters not as them, but as us.

As a teacher and leader at Teach For America (TFA) for the past 18 years, I have had the opportunity to work alongside hundreds of individuals from different backgrounds, striving for the common goal of providing all children with the education necessary to pursue their individual hopes and dreams. Through my work, I have come to realize the critical importance of truly knowing those working alongside me (and allowing them to truly know me)… so that we might enhance the power of our collective efforts as opposed to pursuing separate agendas.

Early on in my work for Teach for America, I realized that connecting with my students and their families was foundational for the accomplishment of our shared goals. On a broader scale, I also came to appreciate the importance of coalition building in addressing persistent challenges like systemic racism and educational inequity. In the process I have learned that there is power in engaging with those who might seem to hold different or contrary beliefs, because when we peel away the layers and examine what we believe at our core, there is always enough common ground to begin to come together. For me, the “New Story of the Human Other” theme of this steppingstone is about seeking out the interconnectedness of us all, with the understanding that until we all succeed, we all fail.

Discovering Our Oneness

I recall an exercise I engaged in some years back with my team of 50 Teach for America colleagues in which we silently strolled around a large conference room, stopping to deliberately make eye contact with each person that we encountered. We were told to maintain this eye contact for 20 seconds, then 45 seconds, then one minute. What began as an awkward experience—filled with self-consciousness and anxiety—evolved into an exercise for the cultivation of empathy.

Indeed, as a result of this exercise, I came to see the truth in the axiom, “The eyes are the windows to the soul”. Why? Because as we stood in silence, gazing into each other’s eyes, we were rendered naked… vulnerable… Though it was uncomfortable, we realized that we were on a shared journey to becoming fully human—all subject to pain, fear, insecurity and sadness… all struggling to give and receive love.

This same dynamic is made manifest in the video on the “World’s Biggest Eye-Contact Experiment” that is embedded in this steppingstone. Upshot: Taking the time to simply behold each other in silence is an essential first-step in validating and affirming our shared humanity.