Alex Mezyad
Stepping Stone 26 Guide
"Hello! I am Alex and I am currently living in Colorado where I spend my time exploring the mountains, chasing sunsets, and photographing the beauty I see. I look forward to traveling more of the world and getting to know people's stories."
Up until now, I have spent my life creating an image of what I wanted my life path to look like: Go to a really good college… get a master’s degree… become a therapist… have a family… and start making big changes in the world. I was strongly attached to this story of myself as someone who would do great things… telling myself, if I didn’t, I would be a failure.
Who Am I Really?
Might it be true, as Eckhart Tolle suggests, in the opening quote to this steppingstone, that all of our ego identifications—e.g., with our work, our possessions, our physical appearance, our racial, religious and political affinities—have very little to do with who we truly are!?
"I asked myself: What do I believe and in what ways might my beliefs be limiting me?"
With the intention to discover who I really am, I engaged with Patti Digh’s identity exercise (offered at the beginning of this steppingstone) by writing, non-stop, for five-minutes, a description of who am I. When I finished, I challenged myself to consider that none of what I had written captured who I truly was… so I crossed it all out.
Then, I attempted to tackle this question again, without mentioning anything from my first round. As I dug deeper, I started to panic because I was running out of ways to describe who I thought I was. It was then that it occurred to me to consider that I could create an entirely new story of who I was—a story that did not limit me by placing me within culturally-circumscribed categories.
Identifying my Limiting Beliefs
With the growing suspicion that my identity was mostly the outcome of my conformity to societal norms, I decided to explore the twin exercises in this steppingstone that focus on Identifying and, then, Shedding, limiting beliefs. I did this by asking: What is it that I believe and how might these beliefs be limiting me? My rationale was that choosing to identify and then re-fashion the beliefs that limit me could be a catalytic step in my ongoing awakening.
Join me, now, as I begin with the Exploring Beliefs exercise by choosing, and then completing, four of the open sentences pertaining to beliefs:
I should... my belief: be successful.
The world is the way it is because... my belief: of fear and greed.
Relationships are... my belief: difficult.
Having children... my belief: is a must.
And, continue with me as I complete three of the open sentences focusing on Limiting Beliefs:
Life is… my limiting belief: hard and sad.
I am… my limiting belief: fearful and emotional.
People are… my limiting belief: selfish and judgmental.
As I completed both sets of open sentences, I realized that my ways of thinking often originate from a place of fear, rather than one of empowerment, causing me to separate from, rather than connect to, myself and others.
Creating a New Story of Self
After completing both exercises, I realized that I could choose to become the author of my own life by transforming my limiting beliefs into beliefs that are affirming and empowering. For example: i-Rather than Life is hard and sad, I choose to believe that life is filled with challenges that, in the end, will help me to flourish; and ii-Rather than I am fearful and emotional, I choose to see myself as: brave and wholeheartedly alive; and iii-Rather than perceiving people as selfish and judgmental, I am embracing the belief that: We are all doing the best we can, day-by-day, given what we each have available to us.
As I begin to create a New Story of Self by replacing my limiting beliefs with ways of seeing and being that are affirming and liberating, I am gradually coming home to myself.
