Kristina Leung
Stepping Stone 21 Guide
"Hi all! Kristina here! I am a lover of food, a social gamer, and explorer of local culture. I’m also a great hype girl, so reach out if you’re in a rut and need a little help discovering your elevated self."
The importance of freeing ourselves from the trance of “not enoughness” is captured in these words from Brittany Josephina at the beginning this steppingstone: "The most important day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free."
These words led me to ask myself, “Am I good enough for me?” Not surprisingly, my answer was ‘No’. This led me to wonder what good enough would feel like? It also led me to conjecture that if I were able to free myself from the disrupting influences of social media, work-place stress and competition, perhaps, I would discover what good enough feels like.
"Is there really a wrong way to live MY life… A way that signifies that I am not enough?"
Curious to learn if my experience of not enoughness was unique to me or if it was something that others also experience, I took a leap and invited some friends to join me in the Not Enoughness exercise described at the beginning of this steppingstone.
After spending five minutes alone to write down our “not enough” statements, we each read aloud what we had written. The statements from my list that stuck out the most to me were:
1- “I am not outgoing enough”—i.e., I tend to be reserved; and 2- “I am not conforming enough”—i.e., I tend to do things my way. When I took time to reflect on these two statements, I realized that they could be interpreted as strengths. For example, my tendency to be reserved provides me with the space to be an attentive listener; and by not conforming to the status-quo, I give permission to others to be uniquely themselves. So, how did I come to believe that these ways of being made me less than…?
As I listened to my friends not enough statements, I noticed that there were similarities among us. For example, it appeared that we all believed that we were not rich enough, not ambitious enough, not social enough. These commonalities reminded me of how our society tends to condition our thinking around what’s right and wrong, good and bad, including how we interpret our own actions and lifestyles.
Is there really a wrong way to live MY life… A way that signifies that I am not enough? I need to stop letting my self-talk be filled with negative statements and stop relying on others' approval to feel like I am enough. We all have a purpose for being here, but how can I realize my potential and discover my life’s meaning and purpose if I am focused on what my culture is telling me, instead of what my heart is revealing me? Perhaps, more importantly, how can I cultivate self-acceptance, if I am allowing outside opinions to tell me that I am not enough?
While pondering these questions, I was struck by the “Enough is Enough” video embedded within this steppingstone, especially the part when Hannah turns her “not enough” statements inside-out by making them declarations of “enoughness”. This prompted me to ask myself, what would be required of me to turn my own “not enough” statements into declarations of enoughness? As I sat with this, I began to reflect on what enoughness would feel like and this is what I came up with:
Enoughness is a weight lifted off my shoulders; it is being able to smile with inner peace; it is feeling so alive and wholesome that I am able to extend gratitude and appreciation to others so that they, too, might know that they are enough.
As a way of living into a Story of Enoughness, I have created three statements that I am endeavoring to hold close to my heart:
1-I AM ENOUGH when I respond to my needs with kindness and without judgment.
2-I AM ENOUGH when I follow my passions with enthusiasm and fervor.
3-I AM ENOUGH when I fully accept myself, allowing my light to shine.
I believe that we become what we give our attention to. So, instead of giving my attention to the negative feelings and emotions associated with not enoughness, I am choosing to direct my attention to the cultivation of self-acceptance, gratitude and truthspeaking.
