Ashley Jenkins
Stepping Stone 09 Guide
"I’m Ashley and I’m passionately curious and love to read, learn from others, and explore the amazing beauty of our planet. When I’m not having a solo dance party, you can typically find me anywhere near water or walking in my neighborhood.”
I want to be completely honest right out of the gate. I still don’t know exactly what success is, but I have come to realize, since college, that success is not what society tells me it is. For example, it’s not about making a lot of money, owning a large house, and driving a fancy car… Instead, it’s about something more meaningful... more purposeful... more exhilarating...
In this vein, philosopher and theologian Howard Thurman offered this advice to young people: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Building on Thurman’s words, what if you chose to define being successful as being fully and ecstatically alive?!
"I’ve had to contend with the fear of failure and rejection."
I graduated from Penn State in 2019, and two days after graduating I started a full-time “adult” job… a classic 9-5 gig, with a steady paycheck every 2 weeks. But, then, the pandemic hit and I was laid off, and this left me feeling small, unworthy, and lost. It also challenged my beliefs around success. Growing up, my image of success meant having a great job that paid well and gave me access to lots of nice things. But the pandemic left me jobless and provoked me to consider that maybe success was more about discovering my life’s true meaning and purpose than about acquiring riches?
Ultimately, I responded to my job loss by creating my own job, with the mission of helping small businesses build dynamic online communities. Today, as someone who is self-employed, I’m able to choose the work I do, and where and when I do it.
But it’s not all apples and cream because I’ve had to contend with the fear of failure and rejection. For example, after a year-and-a-half on the job, I have learned that being self-employed is messy... Sometimes I fail to get the contract I am seeking or I am not able to get the results my client wants… and I feel defeated. At the same time, I’m discovering that my failures have a silver-lining because, over time, I have been learning from my mistakes. As a result, I have been able to connect with and assist the types of clients I want to work with and to find work that is meaningful to me.
Rather than fearing failure as I did in the past, today I remind myself that failure is a path to learning and that by embracing my failures I can bring more meaning and purpose to my life. Indeed, if I am not willing to risk failure by doing the really challenging things in life, how will I know what matters most and what brings me into harmony with my true self?
In engaging with this steppingstone, I was heartened to note that my desire to become the author of my life by charting my own job path aligns with the path that Rosa Parks took to Live Divided No More (See Success Exploration # 3) when she dared to exercise her freedom by taking a seat at the front of the bus. Like Rosa Parks, I feel most divided in my life when I allow myself to be shackled by society’s dictums, rather than staying true to myself.
In my search for personal success, I have come to see that my life’s meaning and purpose comes through connecting with others. I know, from my personal experience, that being silenced and ignored is heartbreakingly dehumanizing. It is when I can help others to feel seen, valued and supported that I feel most aligned with my mission in life.
