Awaken... Reflect... Engage...

How? By joining the conversation centered on Breakdown—A Catalyst for Self-Discovery—hosted by Alex Liney, your Guide for this Steppingstone.

Alex Liney

Stepping Stone 07 Guide

"Hi I’m Alex and at the moment, I’m living in the urban coast of New England; and when I’m not working, I am spending my time lifting heavy things above my head."

When it comes to my work life I realize that I am in a state of Breakdown these days. Breakdown feels like a dullness in my mood and a muting of my excitement and joy. It comes on with a feeling of  “I guess” followed by a sigh. Five days a week, I wake up, drive to work, execute the same tasks each day, wait for the time to leave, and go home. It can be monotonous, repetitive, and unrewarding.

"The larger question in play here is: Does my work bring meaning and purpose to my life?"

I work in sales. So, I ask myself: Am I a “salesman”? Or do I help people improve their businesses every now and again? These are two different stories I can tell myself, and one certainly feels more palatable. Although, if I’m honest, the latter story is one I tell myself far less often. But the larger question in play here is: Does my work bring meaning and purpose to my life?

There are people out there who benefit from the service I sell—or so I tell myself. So am I not doing something good by helping these people and seeking them out? Most times, I wonder if I’m wasting my time and theirs, offering something that I don’t really care about and that they do not really need. This might be where my Breakdown originates—i.e., in the lack of meaning or importance in what I’m doing. Whether or not I do my job has little effect in the world, and this makes it difficult to find the motivation to do it.

But how did I get here? I found the parable of the barnyard eagle in this steppingstone to be particularly helpful in grappling with my sense of Breakdown in my own life. The barnyard eagle listened and behaved; he followed the barnyard rules. Much the same can be said about me. My domestication is the result of conforming to what I’ve been told is the “right” way to go about adulthood. And yet, here I am at 27, mired in Breakdown!

Rather than succumbing to domestication, I wonder what would happen if I were to work toward something that filled me with meaning and purpose. Just the thought of this excites me. For example, if I were to devote my life energy to alleviating poverty or to joining others in addressing climate change, I would be providing something of far greater value to the world than I am now. However, the notion of leaving my job and pursuing these goals is frankly terrifying. But perhaps a first step could be to explore volunteer opportunities, as a means of counteracting the self-doubt I have around pursuing a life beyond domestication.

An Invitation to Join the Conversation

As your Guide for this steppingstone, my hope is that our Community Space will become a dynamic setting where we can learn from each other by sharing stories, questions, and reflections relating to the Breakdown theme of this steppingstone. As a way to join the conversation, please feel free to post responses to any of the prompts below that call to you:

i- Can you share a story of a time in your life when you were in a state of Breakdown—i.e., when things were no longer working for you and your life was marked by flatness and confusion? What was at the root of your Breakdown and how did you respond?

ii-Might you be dwelling in the waters of Breakdown right now? Find out by taking a few minutes to call to mind three activities that you will be doing tomorrow relating to your work or school life and, then, assess your body’s energetic and emotional response to each activity using Martha Beck’s Body Meter practice as described in the “Stuck in Breakdown Without Knowing it” section of this steppingstone.

iii-What connections, if any, do you see between the concepts of Breakdown and Domestication?

iv-What would an authentic and fulfilling life feel like for you? Do you have the courage and passion to open to the possibility of such a life?

Use the comment box below to share your reflections!

When posting, focus on what you know to be true for you